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Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Anouska, May 1, 2012.

  1. Anouska

    Anouska New Member

    Hi all,

    We have our visas (2.5yrs waiting!) and we have just been out for 3 week trip and enjoyed Australia.

    BUT.........Really worried and confused about everything and anything!

    While we were over we felt quite alone and found that it was really hard to mix? Anyone found the same, does it last ?

    I really love spending time with my friends and we enjoy socialising with other families.


    Any advice, help or pointers ?

    Anouska :)
    Last edited: May 1, 2012

  2. teamv

    teamv New Member

    What were your reason's for wanting to move in the first place and have they changed,also I'm not sure what you expected its always hard in any new place ,even on a recey as everyone else is at work when your not ,but its a lot of expence and heart ack moving if your only going to be unhappy and want to go home,

    We move out this month I will have more answers then,as I've not really got any now ,but we are still keen to get on the plane.

  3. koaladeb

    koaladeb Guest

    Hi Anouska, yes I know excatly what u mean. We have had our visa awhile now and has taken us this long to finally take the plunge and book the flights (this Oct). Although to be fair (to us) my mum & step dad have both been seriously ill so we didn't think about it for about 2 years as I couldn't concentrate on anything. Thankfully they are both well now and in remission and wish us all the best.
    I sometimes think we may have left it to late as our boys are older now and will find it harder but if we don't give it a go we will always be wondering `what if'.
    I think making new friends will take time but it will happen if you want it to. This web site and PIO really helps.
    Have you booked your flights yet?
    Good luck
  4. crystal64

    crystal64 New Member

    Hello Anouska,

    We keep bumping into each other on here, our hubbies are sparkys. I totally relate to your thinking, we leave on 3rd for Australia & Iam really stressing over "are we doing the right thing?" "will everything be ok?" "are we crazy?" I think reading forums & that, these emotions all seem normal if not unsettling.

    We are off to Mooloolaba area, if you are around that area when you are over give us a shout & we can meet up.

  5. Anouska

    Anouska New Member

    Hi Kevin,

    We still feel all the reasons that we felt when we started and we are not new to the immigration thing as we done it in 2005 to new Zealand, and as you said its a lot of money and upset.

    Let me know how things go with your move the ups n downs!

    Thank you for your reply

    Anouska :)
  6. Anouska

    Anouska New Member

    Hi deb,

    I totally agree when we get older it's harder we become set in our ways and change seems scary, we too had set backs one last year when we were all booked to leave in October so everything had to be canceled including our house sell then again when we got back from oz 3 weeks ago my husband had been made redundant while we were away !! The company had gone into administration so no pay and no redundancy :( another set back I sometimes feel is something stopping us ? Or if we really want it we will get there in the end ?

    Its so hard !!!!

    Keep me updated with your progress

    Anouska xx
  7. Anouska

    Anouska New Member

    Hi Mandy,

    Our paths do keep crossing don't they :)

    We haven't long got back from mooloolaba !! It's a lovely area we looked at sippy downs, mountain creek etc all great apart from work for sparks unless we just didn't look in the right place !

    If all works out I would really love to meet up thank you :)

    Take care and good luck for Thursday !!!!!!

    Anouska xx
  8. crystal64

    crystal64 New Member

    Anouska /Deb,

    I know exactly about leaving we have left to the last date as possible to book, police checks run out 14th June we land 5th June, cutting it fine. I have older boys that Iam leaving here, 3 in fact 29yr, 26yr & 24yr & it has been real soul searching what to do I can tell you plus I`m edging the wrong way towards the big 50. I haven`t sold my house, rented, not shipped all my stuff (sons looking after including the dog), just shipping things to make feel like home & we are going with the mind set of it doesn`t have to be permanent (just to get me out of UK), we can come back, but we will give a good shot, a gap year + for older people. Whether this is the right or wrong way to look at it don`t know, it works (sometimes for me). I think it is really hard to commit to another country & you have these emotions when you haven`t actually lived there, as holidays are just that holidays you get to go home (to blighty), living in the holiday place is so different especially in a diifferent country. I think how easy just to stay, but why was I doing this for my 10yr daughter & 20 yr son who has Aspergers & a better lifestyle for me & hubbie.

    So am I mad, no I just want to see whether life can be nicer/better, my heart aches at leaving my sons already & I haven`t even gone yet. Especially as one son has just broken up with his long time girlfriend & I keep thinking going to miss christmas & their birthdays then feel like a bad mother, what if they need me while on the other side of the world? Stay focused Mandy, my head looks like this :arghh: a lot as our leaving date looms.

    I also think finally it has taken so long to get this visa, it would be silly not to give it a go, my oldest son was originally going as he was in full time education as where his younger brothers but due to hold ups/immigration changes etc 3 sons out grow the system allowances so they could not come & then didn`t want to, I think total it has been about 8 years, crazy amount of life time to not go. I have spent nearly a decade on hold really.

    We will have to wait & see.

    Take care & stay strong

    Mandy x
    Last edited: May 2, 2012
  9. Pollygirl

    Pollygirl Guest

    Thank you Mandy for your posting, I am leaving late July/ early August when my VISA should be granted and feel very apprehensive, had a wobble this morning. My OZ husband moved out last August and we had a very emotional reunion in January and I found it very hard to leave in February. I went with an open mind to decide whether I could live there, spent quality time with him and tried to live as thou I was living there rather than treating it like a holiday. I know I will miss my lads and family and friends. But also feel I have given everyone the best years of my life and now its time for me and what a wonderful opportunity!! My husband never put pressure on me to choose OZ as our new home and offered to return with me, if I had not liked or enjoyed OZ, but I was pleasantly surprised. I am sorting out everything at the moment, what to ship, what to leave, renting out house.

    Your right it would be silly not to go, you won't know until you live there. I am going to give it my best shot, but knowing that my husband, lads, family and friends have been so supportive, as made it easier. I also live a couple of hours from my lads and family, so have had time to withdrawal slightly to soften the blow. Lets be positive and live our lives, this isn't a dress rehearsal its the real thing!! and life is too short. Keep us all updated,

    Keep focused!! and stay strong!!!
  10. crystal64

    crystal64 New Member

    Mums with older children left in UK

    Polly, my heart goes out to you, there seems alot of women leaving older children behind in UK, not taking away the big leap when you have younger children but they go with you to Australia, whereby leaving UK without your older children is traumatic & hubbie just can`t relate.

    Reading posts it seems a lot of us are doing this, leaving our older children & suffering the trauma of it, prehaps starting a support group for `mums with older children left in UK` may be a good idea as it seems we are all suffering the same emotions & thoughts. Then add to that a major life change surprised not been commited by now. If Sunshine coast is you destination I would definately be up for a meet up.

    Good luck & Stay focused
  11. Pollygirl

    Pollygirl Guest

    Thanks crystal64,

    Well they said life begins at 40, mine didn't!!LOL!! I have always been family orientated, but life events change that sometimes, I know they did for me. I am looking forward to being with my husband and he is worried about me settling in Oz, but going with an open mind.As I said my lads are very supportive and live a very full life, and want me to be happy and live mine. The whole VISA process and sorting out everything definately should come with a health warning!!! I am heading to Woorim, and should hopefully be there end of July/ August once the VISA is issued, given a guide date of end of July, fingers crossed. So meeting up sometime in the future would be great!
  12. Queenie

    Queenie New Member

    Hi all,

    I can't say 'I know how you feel', as I haven't left children back in the UK, I have however left a big loving family, I am 1 of 9 and a triplet, 8 of us have kids so my boys have left all their cousins. I miss them all every day but we skype a lot and keep in touch on facebook, it's hard but I don't regret 1 minute of it. I am slowly making friends (have met a good friend on this forum) and am trying to get involved at school more and more to make friends there too.

    There will be things (other than family) that you miss about the UK but for me, the positives far out weigh the negatives. There is nothing better to start your day than being woken up by kookaburras laughing and seeing flocks of rainbow lorikeets fly over your house. The weather is a huge bonus and I've never seen such blue skies. The seafood is out of this world, as is the meat, they don't import much so you'll find most fruit and veg is seasonal and really good. The schools are brilliant and so are the parks, you can easily spend a whole day at the park with a pack of snags and some rolls and cook your tea without getting bored.

    There are always forums like this too where you can chat to people in the same boat.

    Good luck to you all, I'm sure you'll love it here, we do!
  13. bacardi167

    bacardi167 New Member

    Ladies, you are braver than me.
    I came out here with my 2 sons aged 3 & 7 and came for them mainly. There is no way on this earth that i would have left without them. I'm not saying thatto make you feel bad or saying you are bad parents at all. What i say is WELL DONE to you for deciding to live and improve your lives.
    Its not all plain sailing, but, when i look around me and really see what i have and where I live. I am quietly happy in the knowledge that my life with my family is so much better than it was in the UK.
    One bit of advice i would give to anyone moving is this "When in Rome.......
    Good luck
  14. Anouska

    Anouska New Member

    Hello to everyone,

    Thank you all so much for your comments :)

    Its very reassuring knowing I'm not the only one with a heavy heart :(

    Keep posting it all helps good and bad !!

    I am now thinking about renting the house out rather than selling it ( thank you crystal64)

    Thinking of you all, Anouska xx
  15. crystal64

    crystal64 New Member

    Not a problem Anouska, for me renting out the house in UK is a no brainer, it then leaves the option of if by chance Australia doesn`t work out you have some place to come back to. As if we sold, moved to Australia bought, didn`t like it, sold return to UK not only all that hassle but as we live Greater London probably would have been out priced in the buyers market in UK, so would then have to live in a different area totally. Plus don`t have to ship EVERYTHING all at once. I think also with the sons I`m leaving behind they have been taking me going better due to the fact their family home is still mine & here, so kinda I`m still here, it works for us. Renting in Oz also gives us the option of choosing an area perfectly suited to us, whereby if you buy you are stuck there until Oz house sold.

    Keep in touch all & remember stay focus. :smile:

    Mandy x
  16. Anouska

    Anouska New Member

    Bump bump anyone else with similar worries ??


    Anouska cx
  17. Sue

    Sue Guest

    We've been living in Brisbane for 4 years now and had all of the same reservations before we came. We were both in our mid to late 40's and left behind elderly parents. I left my girls at uni in Bournemouth and really beat myself up before I left. Now 4 years down the line and lots of ups and downs it's turned out to be the best decision we ever made. We love Australia and have made lots of great friends, some Aussies and also some Brits in the same situation as us. My girls have finished uni and are both out here now as well so we are all back together again.

    We still miss family and friends in the uk and have been back every year for a visit but I always want to come back to Aus. It's definitely home now.

    If you need any information or want further clarification I would be more than happy to help.

  18. Anouska

    Anouska New Member

    Thank you Sue, all info helpful :)

    Anouska xx
  19. mr luvpants

    mr luvpants Guest

    We are both 44 and have been here 1.5 years and have left 3 kids (24,23,22) behind. The kids had their own lives and we wanted to live ours. We absolutely love it out here and would not go back but of course we miss the kids and our friends. It is going to be hard when they have kids but we will have to make more journeys back to the UK. Skype makes things a lot easier though.

    We have just bought a house on Mountain Creek. I changed careers when over here (was a Fire fighter, now cop) and my wife is a Nurse at Nambour. If we can help anyone out then please let us know as it is hard when you first get here.

  20. Em_10

    Em_10 New Member

    Hi everyone;

    My husband and I moved to Australia from UK & then South Africa about 5 years ago - although I don't have kids & didn't really leave any close family behind in the UK, I think Australia can be very isolating no matter where you come from, especially if you are use to a close group of friends & having family around you. The UK has a real sense of community about it even though it has 4 times as many people as Australia! We have only gotten use to being here within the last 18 months or so; it's so easy to get caught in a certain way of thinking though and imagine nothing will be better than being back in the UK - for me, that was half the battle, trying to accept Australia for what it has to offer and realising that you can never really go back once you have gone forwards has helped too. This happened for me after a visit back there last year. I hope you are all settling in okay..

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